


What Do You Get Bruce Wayne?

by Iluvstucky



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 01:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13494138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iluvstucky/pseuds/Iluvstucky
Summary: Clark struggles to find Bruce a valentines day gift.





	What Do You Get Bruce Wayne?

**Author's Note:**

> This is just some short drabble I cranked out at 3 am. Its for my friend Xax who doesnt have an ao3 account yet.

Fuck. Why is this so hard?  
Clark was practically tearing his hair out.  
It’s a simple valentines day gift!  
He sank down into the stiff metal chair at the food court.   
Three days. Three days and 7 malls all over the city. And there are only 4!

He was completely lost. What do you get a powerful sexy billionaire for valentines day? And on a shitty reporters salary no less.   
He’d thought of jewelry. A ring? That's way too much. They'd only been dating for a couple months. Watch? Well Bruce already had a couple, could buy any new one he wanted and all the even mediocre ones were out of Clarks budget.  
Then he thought clothes. And immediately remembered he had no idea what Bruce’s measurements were. All he knew was chest: huge (its all tits), waist: tiny, ass: huge (and delicious).  
Tchotchkes? Now that was just a desperate reach.  
Chocolate and roses?   
Hes Bruce fucking Wayne! You can't just get him some cheap chocolates and roses.  
What about expensive chocolates?  
Clark!  
He shook his head. He got up and staked over to the counter and order a large slushie. To calm his nerves.  
The lady at the counter could obviously notice his anguish.  
“You okay sir? Need me to call the police?”  
“What? No. Why would i need the police.  
She simply shrugged.  
“Not a very safe food court. You’d be surprised how many times ive had to do that.”  
Clark made a note to himself to patrol this part of town a bit more often.  
“That’ll be 3.43.” She smiled, handing him his very cherry slushie.  
Clark paid in exact change.  
“You know it's just ice syrup and food coloring? It's so not good for you.” She added.  
“I know. But that doesn't seem to be very good for your business.” Clark smiled, amused.  
“Never said this was a good food court either.”  
“Hey. Could i bother you with a question?” He asked, completely out of options.  
“Shoot. I've got nothing better to do.”  
Clark leaned on the counter.  
“What would you get your boyfriend for valentines day?” he asked, deciding to remain vague so she wouldn't guess who he was talking about. Not that Bruce would care.  
“Well. Maybe like a watch?”  
“He’s already got one.”  
“Tie?”  
“He’s already got too many.”  
“Candy?”  
“Hates it.”  
“Fuck it. Buy him a porsche.”  
He has three. Clark thought to himself.  
“Im broke.” He smiled.  
“Well then…” She was deep in thought.  
Clark sipped his drink.  
“Pardon my french but have you done the nasty?” She asked nonchalantly.  
Clark nearly choked.  
“Well yes…” He could tell he was bright red.  
“Maybe something fun for the bedroom?”  
What’s redder than bright red? Well Clark was that.  
“Like i said. Not a very good food court. But think about it” She winked and Clark said his goodbyes and rushed off. 

Four hours later Clark was sitting in his small apartment in front of his war-torn laptop. He sat, googling sex toys and where to buy them.  
“Dual action… vibrating… strap on… 17 batteries required?!? What in the world needs 17 batteries!?”   
He scrolled and searched for a good hour. Finding nothing good. Anything he thought to be interesting was expensive and anything in his price range he was sure was cheap quality or Bruce probably had somewhere in his massive mansion.  
Come to think of it. Do you think he has a secret sex dungeon? I mean he has a cave...  
Stop it! Focus!  
He was beginning to panic. Valentines day was tomorrow and he was supposed to meet Bruce for brunch.  
Isn't that a bit of a gay cliche?  
Focus idiot!  
Taking off his Clark glasses he rubbed his sore eyes. He glanced at the time. 11:47. Everything is closed.   
Im fucked.  
He collapsed into bed. Defeated. How? How do you shop for a man who has everything and can buy anything? What do you get such a perfect guy? Such a well rounded, nice, compassionate, sexy, suave-  
Fuck. Now he was hard too. Just the thought of Bruce enough to have him at “full alert.”  
So there he laid, face buried in his pillow, erection poking into the mattress, thinking about how he had let Bruce down.  
Fuck. And bruce probably got him something really good. Not to mention expensive.

Alarm bells? No not alarm bells. Alarm.  
Wake up idiot!  
Clark shot up.   
“Fuck!” He screamed out loud.  
He got up and rushed through his daily routine.  
I got three hours before i have to meet Bruce.  
Taking the subway to the mall and then to the cafe would eat up an hour all on its own. So e really had two hours.  
His plan was simple. Get his a ton of mismatched crap that he could afford.   
He burst into the mall and began scouring shop.   
Chocolates. Check.  
Flowers. Check.  
Teddy bear that says ‘bear hugs’ on it. Check.  
Just as he was about to exit and mae his way across town to Bruce something caught his eye. He stared. He couldn't resist it. It was too tempting. 

“Hey there.” Bruce smiled from his seat when he saw Clark arrive. He got up to kiss his boyfriend hello.  
Cark grinned like a happy puppy.  
“Hey honey.”  
They both sat down.  
“I ordered us crepes. And I decided it's best to sit indoors. Considering its February.” Bruce smiled that signature Bruce smile. (You know the one. Dont lie.)  
“Smart. Beauty and brains. Who says you can’t have both?” Clark laughed at his own joke.  
Bruce laughed along, hand instinctively taking Clarks.  
“So. Valentines day.” Bruce stated as if Clark didn't know.  
“I see you got me stuff. Even though i told you you didn't have to.” he smiled.  
“To be honest I didn't know what to get you so…”  
“So you got me like five things?” Bruce laughed, his thumb running over Clarks knuckles.  
“Well it’s only four things and they're small.” Clark blushed a bit.  
“Right and i didnt know your favorite color so i got you four cars.” Bruce teased.  
Clark froze.  
“Oh my god babe. Im kidding.” Bruce laughed again.  
Clark was always happy to make Bruce smile or laugh, he rarely did so.  
“So what did you get me?”  
“Well. Flowers, chocolates, teddy bear, and well…” Clark blushed again.  
Bruce lunged his hand into the bag and pulled out a pair of Batman and Superman underwear.  
“Clark…” Bruce was surprised. (Also something that happened rarely.)  
“I thought they were funny.” Clark began to defend.  
“Clark… these are hilarious!” He laughed loudly.  
“I’m glad you like them.”  
Bruce tried desperately to catch his breath.  
“This totally beats the car I got you.”  
“Bruce!”  
“Im kidding!... it’s a yacht.”  
“That’s worse!”

The End. <3


End file.
